Breaking up with clutter is hard. It begs you to stay, whispering sweet nothings about ‘one day’ and ‘just in case’… just like the classic “it’s not me, it’s you” breakup line. But you know the truth: clutter is a bad relationship, draining your energy, increasing your stress, and preventing you from living your best life.

Why We Hold Onto Clutter

Many of us assign emotions and memories to physical objects. That old sweater from college, the drawer full of birthday cards, or your grandmother’s china set — these items connect us to people and experiences. It’s a natural human tendency to want to preserve these connections.

As Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, notes, “Outer order contributes to inner calm.”

However, clinging to every memento can create a stifling environment. Marie Kondo, the organizing guru behind The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, suggests keeping only the items that truly “spark joy.” This can be a helpful guide, but it’s important to remember that “joy” can be complex. Sometimes, an item evokes a bittersweet memory, but it’s still a valuable part of your personal narrative. The challenge then becomes deciding between nostalgia and necessity, making it difficult to let go of items that no longer serve a practical purpose. We can get stuck in the past, preventing us from fully embracing the present.

PRO Tip: Create a “memory box” or photo album for truly sentimental items that you don’t use regularly. This allows you to preserve the memories without cluttering your living space. You can even digitize photos and videos to further reduce physical clutter.

Too Many Choices—Decision Fatigue …

Making decisions requires mental energy. When faced with the task of decluttering, we often delay choices about what to keep and what to discard, leading to piles of indecision. It’s like being bombarded with information, overwhelmed by the sheer volume. You end up feeling paralyzed and unable to make a decision.

This “decision fatigue” is a real phenomenon. Dr. Randy Frost, co-author of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things, explains that people with high emotional attachment to objects experience more stress when making decluttering decisions. This ultimately contributes to the overwhelming feeling of having too many choices.

PRO Tip: Categorize your items before you start decluttering. Create piles for “Keep,” “Donate,” “Garbage/Recycle,” and “Relocate” (items that belong in a different room). This pre-sorting can streamline the decision-making process and make it less overwhelming. You can even use colored sticky notes to label items if you prefer a more visual approach.

Beware: Don’t get bogged down in the “Relocate” pile. Often, these items end up back in the clutter because you never actually put them away. Be decisive about relocating items and do it immediately after sorting, or consider adding them to the “Donate” or “Garbage” piles if you’re unsure. Also, be careful not to create too many sub-categories within your main piles. The goal is to simplify, not complicate, the process. Too many choices within the categories can lead right back to decision fatigue.

Fear of Being Alone (Without Stuff)

Fear plays a major role in clutter. The “just in case” mentality stems from a scarcity mindset—the belief that we might need something later and won’t be able to replace it. This is especially common among people who have experienced financial struggles or periods of instability. Holding onto excess items can feel like a safety net, a form of control in an uncertain world, even if it leads to chaos in our spaces and ultimately hinders our well-being. It’s a false sense of security, because, as the saying goes, “You can’t take it with you”.

Author and minimalist Joshua Becker argues that “owning less is not about deprivation. It’s about freedom.” This freedom includes mental and emotional freedom from the burden of excess possessions. It’s about living more intentionally, choosing to surround yourself only with items that truly serve a purpose or bring you joy. This intentionality extends beyond your physical space and into your mental and emotional landscape, allowing you to focus on what truly aligns with your values.

PRO Tip: When decluttering, focus on the benefits of letting go, rather than the potential downsides. Think about the space you’ll gain, the ease of cleaning, the reduced stress, and the opportunity to help others by donating unwanted items. Visualizing these positive outcomes can help overcome the fear of scarcity.

Beware: Don’t fall into the trap of “sentimentalizing” everything. While it’s important to honor genuine memories, it’s also easy to create emotional attachments to items that don’t truly hold significant meaning. Be honest with yourself about the true value of each item and avoid using sentimentality as an excuse to hold onto clutter. Also, be mindful of replacing one form of clutter with another. For example, if you donate a lot of items, resist the urge to immediately fill that empty space with new purchases.

How to Let Go: Actionable Steps

One of the biggest challenges in decluttering is knowing where to start and how to overcome the emotional attachments we have to our things. These three strategies address those challenges head-on, providing practical guidance for letting go with ease and confidence.

1. The 20/20 Rule

Popularized by The Minimalists, this rule states: If an item can be replaced for less than $20 in under 20 minutes, you can let it go. This is especially useful for household items, duplicate tools, and “just in case” objects. It helps to remove the anxiety associated with potentially needing the item in the future.

Further Guidance: Once you’ve identified items that meet the 20/20 rule, don’t let them linger. Immediately box them up and either donate them to a local charity or, if they’re in good condition, consider selling them online or at a consignment store. Getting them out of your house quickly is key to preventing them from creeping back into your clutter.

2. The One-Year Rule

If you haven’t used an item in the past year, you likely don’t need it. This is a great strategy for clothes, kitchen gadgets, and hobby supplies that take up space but no longer serve you. There are exceptions to this rule, of course, such as seasonal items or things with strong sentimental value.

Further Guidance: Before donating or selling clothing, take some time to mend any minor tears or replace missing buttons. This small effort can significantly increase the value of your sale. For other items, clean them thoroughly before passing them on. Presenting items in good condition shows respect for the recipient and increases the likelihood that they’ll be used and appreciated.

3. The 5-Second Rule

When holding an item, ask yourself:

- Do I use this?

- Do I love this?

- Does this serve a purpose in my life?

If you can’t confidently answer “yes” within five seconds, it’s time to let it go. This helps to bypass overthinking and tap into your gut feeling about the object.

Further Guidance: If you’re struggling to let go of an item that you think you might need someday, ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen if I didn’t have this?” Often, the consequences are far less dire than we imagine. If you truly can’t decide, box up the item and label it with a date six months in the future. If you haven’t needed it by then, you can confidently let it go. This “maybe box” can be a helpful way to ease the anxiety of letting go.

A Simple Mindset Shift Exercise

Letting go of clutter is as much about our mindset as it is about our belongings. Often, the biggest hurdle to decluttering isn’t the physical act of sorting, but the emotional attachment we have to our things. The following exercise will guide you through a simple yet powerful technique to shift your perspective and release the emotional grip that clutter has on you:

Pick one item you’ve been holding onto for emotional reasons.
Close your eyes and recall the memory associated with it.
Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the memory lives in you, not in the object. It’s a part of your personal history, and no one can take that away.
Thank the item for its role in your life, take a picture of it, and then let it go with gratitude. This ritual of gratitude can help to ease the emotional attachment.

Recommendation: After taking a picture of your sentimental item, consider adding it to a digital photo frame. Digital frames like Aura connect to your Wi-Fi, making it incredibly simple to upload photos directly from your phone. We have one and love how it provides a constant slideshow of meaningful memories without the physical clutter. It’s a fantastic way to celebrate the past while embracing a more minimalist lifestyle.

Final Thoughts: You Are in Control

Decluttering can feel daunting, but remember that you are in control. You have the power to choose what you keep and what you let go of. It’s about making conscious decisions about your belongings and creating a home that supports your goals and values. By embracing the strategies and mindset shifts discussed in this post, you can confidently navigate the decluttering process and create a space that brings you joy and peace.

The more we release, the lighter we feel, and the more room we create for new opportunities. Don’t wait to take the first step toward a clutter-free life. Reach out and I’ll put you on the waitlist to receive my free guide “From Clutter to Clarity: A Guided Workbook for Letting Go”.